We often tend to “label” ourselves and start behaving in order to follow or meet the expectations of that particular role or description we “describe” ourselves with.
I am (__________) and I cannot achieve/do/behave/take a risk/change/grow/succeed/_______….
“I am a ‘good girl’ and I cannot possibly…”
“I am a doctor/lawyer/_____ and it is not appropriate for me to behave _____”
“I am not a disciplined person so I cannot stick to my goals, plans, start a new diet…”
“I am lazy, so I cannot _____”
“I am introvert so I cannot possibly behave/say/do that job…”
“I am not that type of person”
Pastor Joel Osteen wisely said that “Whatever follows ‘I am’ will always come looking for you”
Labels are just words and perceptions of how others or we see ourselves to be, which we “conclude” to be the truth for us based on the way we think we are or others perceive us to be.
We label ourselves with the role/job we do (“married woman”, “mother”, “boss”, “healer”, “doctor”) and then we start behaving in the way a person with the role that we do should (as per our opinion or society conventions) behave.
We label ourselves with our age (“too young for this” or “too old for that”).
We label ourselves with our personality traits (“introvert”, “extrovert”, “achiever”, “loser”, “serious”, “immature”, “crazy(!)”, “spiritual”, “lazy”, “stubborn”, “conservative”…).
We label ourselves with astrological sign (Gemini, Scorpio, Aries…).
As we all have the need to understand ourselves better and we tend to read and study psychology, astrology and we carefully observe our behavior and the feedback other people give us about how they see us, in all these things there is a danger lying underneath: WE LIMIT OURSELVES.
The truth is that not a single person is 100% introvert or extrovert, we tend to have more traits of one, but that doesn’t mean that extroverted person never feels like needing some time or doesn’t enjoy spending time cozy at home with a cup of tea and warm hug of a partner. Same way, introverted people do enjoy to speak, but perhaps only in smaller group and in comfortable environment and do like to attend a party time to time.
Not to mention astrology interpretations that can be way wrongly understood if you are an “amateur”, did not study astrology long and hard enough and you rely only on “free” readings you come across on the internet (which can do more harm than good).
If you read that Gemini sign person has a “problem” in forming long lasting relationships you can believe in it and “allow” yourself even to cheat on your partner because you are a Gemini sign and it is your nature to flirt(!?). Or you can get stuck into label ob being a “shy person” because you are a Cancer.
“I am Cancer so I am shy, introvert and quiet”
“I am Aries so I am stubborn and hot-headed”
“I am Gemini so I flirt with everyone”
Not to mention that Sun sign is just one part of our personality (our personality is made of Sun+Moon+Acsendent sign together).
If you are an introvert, that doesn’t mean that you cannot improve your communication skills over time if you practice.
If you are “lazy”, unorganized, “never have the time” or “forgetful” type of person you can always decide to change, hire a time management coach, use planners, virtual assistent or something else, to help you organize your time better.
If you allow yourself to grow, evolve over time, let yourself experience your true nature, observe how you feel and act in different situations you can learn a lot about yourself and become the best version of you.
Limiting beliefs which we “attach” to our personality do not need to be true for us if we do not allow it. But if we keep on defining and labeling ourselves and behave the same old way every single day then it is very likely that we will not move forward in life.
We were born to be great and we can overcome our fears, change our behavioral patterns, improve our skills, embrace new moral values, explore the hidden side of our personality which was in the shadow for a long time, our hidden talents, deepest desires and fantasies, and become better at everything that we do or want to master only if we decide that we will release the chains of limiting beliefs which are holding us imprisoned in mediocre life.
By Danijela Jokic Vaislay – Life Coach